“What’s talent but the ability to get away with something?”
― Tennessee Williams
Most advice about imposter syndrome goes a little something like this: When you feel like you’re an imposter, remind yourself that you’re not! List all your achievements in your head, remember all the hard work you’ve done, and tell yourself you deserve to be where you are.
And, as anyone who struggles with imposter syndrome knows, that advice does not usually banish that sneaking suspicion that you are really just a fraud.
This advice doesn’t work because it doesn’t treat the cause of imposter syndrome—just the symptoms.
Imposter syndrome is the colloquial name for fears about our own competency, but experiencing imposter syndrome actually has nothing to do with our own competency. …
“Our small, unconscious habits cost us more time and money than we’re aware.”
There is so much content about investing, budgeting, using cash, putting money in envelopes, and other time-intensive or high-level financial techniques. And there are so many people out there reading this content who haven’t even mastered the basics.
People who spend their time thinking about whether they should invest in cryptocurrencies or gold while their credit card companies charge them $200 a month in interest fees. People who try to game stock markets in recession while they continue to defer their mortgage payment.
Look, I get why. Mastering the basics is boring. It’s much more exciting to imagine how much money you could make shorting a stock market crash than it is to imagine how much money you could save in interest by paying off that $6,194 balance on your credit cards. After all, high potential and expediency are the draws of a get rich quick scheme. Because that’s what all this dreaming about high-level financial maneuvers is — fantasies of getting rich quick. …
“Reflect upon your present blessings — of which every man has many — not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”
— Charles Dickens
Normally, I’m a holidays kind of person. When Thanksgiving rolls around, I make sure to reserve time for as many thanksgiving dinners as I can, gleefully writing entry after entry in my gratitude journal. When it’s time for Christmas, (which is not until after Thanksgiving, damnit), I download Christmas songs based on old hymns even though I’m not a Christian and sing them as loudly as people around me will bear. Then I lecture them on how materialism is ruining the holiday season. …
As anyone in my personal life can tell you, I’m pretty relationship-challenged. Even in the best conditions, I still struggle to keep a relationship peaceful and happy.
But as they say, experience is the greatest teacher. Painful experience taught me about two of the most common — and destructive — mistakes people can make in relationships. That same experience also taught me one rule of thumb that can help you avoid them forever.
These mistakes are:
There are a lot of emotionally immature people out there who tell themselves they are looking for “just sex” or that they’re “not into relationships” because, in reality, they are too heartbroken to admit they want love or too cowardly to shoulder the responsibility that comes with it. …
There was a time I was hooked on social media.
Every day, I was online for at least six hours. That time was spent trawling Instagram, Tumblr, and Pinterest for the latest photos of models, fashion icons, #vanlife influencers, and other social media icons. When I wasn’t giving my attention away to celebrities for free, I was busy strategizing about and creating meaningless content for my social media that would disappear into the void.
It’s appalling how much time I wasted on social media. Thousands and thousands of irreplaceable hours of my life I spent trying to make social media algorithms happy, for no reward other than external validation. …
“Minimalism isn’t about removing things you love. It’s about removing the things that distract you from the things you love.”
— Joshua Becker, Becoming Minimalist
One of the best things I’ve ever done for myself was become a digital minimalist.
On the surface, it doesn’t seem like such a profound change. So what, now I have fewer files on my computer desktop? What’s the big deal? Some people run two businesses at a time and make $700,000 a year with emails and file systems that look like their grandma imported all the family photos onto their desktop several dozen times.
I know some people run their lives like that. I’ve seen it happen. …
While the election has not been officially declared over yet and the sitting President has refused to concede, it’s nearly certain that Biden is going to be the next President of the United States. And wow, am I glad that’s fucking over.
But as glad as I am that it’s over, I know everyone else is way more thrilled it’s over. Because unlike me, you poor unfortunate souls had to suffer through this election with social media serving you piping hot political content.
You would have been way better off without social media this year. Trust me, I know, because I was. Not having social media significantly improved my quality of life this year. …
On my old 12" Macbook with an m3 core, the slowest part of my workflow was opening Affinity Photo.
Affinity Photo, a faster and more affordable alternative to Photoshop, is my tool of choice for designing book covers, marketing materials, web design assets, and anything else I need for my writing business.
It’s a great piece of software, and I am a raving fan, but opening that thing on an m3 Macbook was slow. I would click to open the program and then pick up my phone to pass the next half a minute. And that’s the blazing fast Affinity Photo. …
When the iPhone 12 mini was announced, I wrote a piece called The iPhone 12 Mini is the iPhone for Digital Minimalists. It was essentially a statement about how excited I was to buy an iPhone that would be useful when I used it and fit in my pocket when I didn’t use it.
But as launch day approached, I felt increasingly stressed about the purchase. The truly minimalist thing to do is keep what you already own. My iPhone X wasn’t cracked or totally broken, but it was on the fritz, and it was beginning to hang during processes and present annoying usability errors. …
Many things are hard to accept about the world, like the fact that the wealthy drive around in Maseratis while poor people starve all over the world.
When it comes to truths about the world at large or people other than us, it’s pretty easy to accept.
Sometimes, though, the harsh truths hit closer to home. We don’t want to accept that we are responsible for how our lives go, for instance, nor that sometimes we can’t achieve what other people can.
There are a lot of harsh truths I’ve accepted in my life, but here are three that stand out to…